What's is it about some people?

**Clinton** · March 30th, 2010, 12:18 PM

This articulate, seemingly intelligent chap emails me with some specific questions about site buying and monetising methods and in particular what I do on my sites (he's obviously read the site in my signature).

I say I'll be happy to help him if he asks in the forums. So he replies by email to clarify his questions and ask a few more about stuff that seems "contradictory and/or somewhat confusing".

I answer one question and tell him to take the others to the forum figuring if I'm going to spend half an hour typing up answers I might as well do it where others can see it and comment/give their views. But, no, he keeps emailing me for assistance.

When I finally tell him it's the forum or nothing he goes off in a huff!

Do you sometimes get that feeling that people want to be helped but can't be ars*ed to even make it a bit easier for you to help them?

**benitez17** · March 30th, 2010, 01:38 PM

He probably has some ulterior motive that he does not want to reveal in public.

Anyone who attempts to dictate the terms on which they will receive assistance doesn't really want help.

**petertdavis** · March 30th, 2010, 01:56 PM

Helping freetards will only drive you crazy in the long run.

**hooperman** · March 30th, 2010, 02:07 PM

I dunno, he could be scared of appearing stupid on a forum or just like the feeling of establishing some "bond" with you. Whatever the reason, they often don't realise or care that it's a huge sap on your time. It's far more beneficial for everyone to discuss it here.

**Clinton** · March 30th, 2010, 03:03 PM

Possibly scared, but I don't think that applied to this guy. He seems intellligent and is definitely confident, articulate... and demanding. He seems to be trying to understand something and getting in a muddle.

Peter, I like the freetards word, first time I've heard it

**JJMcClure** · March 30th, 2010, 05:07 PM

'Help vampires' is another one. Did I read that here or somewhere else?

**Michelle** · March 30th, 2010, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by Clinton

Do you sometimes get that feeling that people want to be helped but can't be ars*ed to even make it a bit easier for you to help them?

Yes more than sometimes. I call these people 'takers'. All they do is take take and take some more rarely giving a thank you as they're too busy asking for the next thing. When you do finally push them a little way toward adding some advantage back to yourself wham, you're the bad guy.

I think Peter hit it on the head that it can drive you crazy in the long run. I'm getting better at spotting it though. I see a handful of questions...I reply back with some valuable advice but I also ask a few very pertinent questions back where the OP/messenger might have to actually do something, at the very least they might have to think!....it doesn't surprise me that often there is never a reply.

I love helping people who are obviously trying to achieve something, are action takers, willing to listen and learn and share their own experience with others too...no problem with that at all. If they can't help me back directly I don't think about it at all...you just know when someone is genuine and when someone is a taker. The genuine ones will help someone else out somewhere some time.

The good news is there is a lot of give and take here Clinton, it's a great place to be, knowing you can get straight answers, lively discussions and the fact that most spam is shut down before it sees the light of day makes for good content in pretty much every thread.

There is a chance your guy was intimidated by the open forum though but then wouldn't a genuine person be likely to say that or mention why else they wanted to avoid it rather than going off in a huff? Can you try asking him the simple question "Is there a reason you prefer to PM me rather than share this in the open forum?"

**petertdavis** · March 31st, 2010, 08:33 AM

I also think these people have some sort of personality disorder, seems a bit like NPD, but not exactly. Hard to nail down not being a qualified medical professional.

Personally, I've given up on responding to inquiries 95% of the time. I had to get a special phone number which rings to voicemail, etc, to help fend off the people who think I can help them sell their site for six figures even though it has no traffic, no revenues, no nothing.